Monday, October 10, 2005

California Non-Official Voter Info Guide

Tuesday, November 8th in the year of our Lord two thousand and five. Yet another reason to abandon direct injection democracy. I'm sick of running into signature hunters at the grocery stores, post office, whatnot telling me about impending doom if I don't sign their petition and get out and vote. So here's my info guide to the next election's propositions:

#73 - Returning control of a minor's life to the parent.

Pro's: Like it or not, they gave birth to your dumb ass and put up with years of crap and control issues, not forgetting they paid your way the whole time. Time to face the music, you're preggers and your parents have a say in the situation.

Con's: Your parents are nightmares from hell and there is no way in hell they will give you any consolation in this time of need. The beating that will ensue will likely terminate the pregnancy. Run for your life and that of your unborn.

How to vote: Use your heart to vote for or against this measure, if you do not possess such an emotion, do not vote. I'll be performing the latter motion.

#74 - Returning control of a teacher's life to the taxpayer.

Pro's: Limits the power of the ever powerful teacher's union to pre-1960's status. Love 'em or hate 'em, unions are here to stay and take over, so let's kick 'em where it counts and hope the kids test scores inprove.

Con's: Another attempt at controlling something they don't understand and then refuse to take responsibility for their kids poor learning skills. We have to put up with their children's bad behaviour and then they want to punish us again?

How to vote: Got kids? Consider home schooling and vote any which way the wind blows. No kids and a home owner? Vote however you think it'll affect your property tax bill on down the line.

#75 - Control of union dues - I thought Communication Workers v. Beck straightened this one out.

Pro's: Returns worker's control over unions.

Con's: None that are tangible.

How to vote: Vote yes if a union member and don't vote on it if not.

#76 - Further obfuscation of State budgetary spending, funding and limits on both for education.

Pro's: Can't see any

Con's Don't know of any

How to vote: Don't, it's that simple. No one has ever figured out the hows and whys of governmental budgets, so any attempts to reign in spending and such are a fool's game. Easy fix, print more money.

#77 - Stopping the congressional district edge bleed.

Pro's: Provide further gridlock, which will in turn mean less bills and such ever become laws.

Con's: Good god, who knows...

How to vote: With your heart of course.

#78 - Cheap meds for hypocondriacs.

Pro's: Now grandma can afford those new implants.

Con's: So can grandpa.

How to Vote: Remember ultimately you're picking up the bill.

#79 - Same as above, only worded differently.

#80 - Electric supply regulation.

Pro's: None, they screwed the pooch on deregulation, what makes you think they can right that wrong?

Con's: See above.

How to vote: Who pays the bills, if you don't then leave it blank. If you do, then play Russian roulette.

1 comment:

Tech Blogger said...
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